nights dedicated 

to the somber 

anxieties of 

my pain 

manifesting 

into the worldly

disguise of my 

external form 

the lengths i go 

to create fantasies 

that cover my shadow

with nonsense 

disguising 

what is really 

a disturbed 

conscience

i rise and fall 

to the failures of 

my soul that is 

weakened by 

the fear 

that unfolds 

between 

2:00-5am 

in the dead hours 

of the night 

dangers keep the 

mind racing

for what is anticipated 

to be devastating. 

and pushed to

the only choice 

that is 

to continue 

to lie 

to myself 

to space 

to maintain 

the normalities

in order to keep fraudulent 

peace behind my eyes. 

-B